So Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas had a
roka ceremony – and we all know what we were doing, where we were, who we were with when this happened. Also, we in the South and them in Hollywood now know what is roka.
A crossover movie called “Roka’ is getting its cast together as we speak. At the very least hordes of foreigners will soon descend on our
desh to conduct their rokas.
Pictures from the ceremony arrived rapidly in our WhatsApp and we peered hard: was it a lehenga, was it a gown, was it a bandhgala, was it a tuxedo? And how they are looking at each other! Our very own Harry and Meghan!
There were hints on their respective social media about love in the air, but till they actually came out and said ‘roka’ we had to hold our breath. Being the
ladki wallahs, we were prudent enough not to buy the fireworks till we saw Nick’s parents in Indian clothes. And just like that, baithe, baithe, sitting, sitting, we got a gora jamaai!
When Nick met Priyanka, his first thought was: how will our names sound conjoined? Oh, all you rude people thinking unprintable names, it was nothing like that. It is just that Priy-Nik sounds like an AIR lady reading out a letter from a
shrota in Sholapur. And Nickpri sounds like a smaller, more affordable version of the Grand Prix.
Which is the main reason they waited to announce their union.
First, they wanted to decide on what they could be called. Then Priyanka, who had fled Bollywood just when the bhabhi roles were opening up, is said to have thought (as revealed by a source who is an alleged friend and prefers to stay anonymous unto death), ‘Anything is better than Piggy Chops, which is what I was called when single.’ Then she was off choosing the roka outfit.
Hope the aunty-jees have heard of Mrs Macron though! Fingers crossed that their round-round eyes stay on her round-round engagement ring. But thank god for Karan Johar and his question, ‘Who cares who is older than whom?’ Not that he waited for a show of hands or anything.
Oh, it was good to be home. The West may tut-tut her weight gain, but back home the thigh gap was never in.
Priyanka says he is her teenage crush and forever crush; Nick says the story sort of wrote itself. As far as modern fairy tales go, this is a very happening romance. Boy meets girl, the girl is older than the boy; in an industry where young girls play mothers to men double their age, have you heard anything more progressive? This is glam global bi-racial anti-ageist ramp-walking blow-dried love. Two single people who sing, are eye candy and indulge in photogenic PDA.
He serenades her, she serenades him right back. When they run out of things to say or sing, there are always her famous item numbers they can watch.
desi girl turned videshi girl turned desi girl again – no wonder we are busy nazar hatao-ing that they always look this blissfully happy in their Page 3 pics. She was our export to Hollywood, but she could well be Nicky bhai's ticket to Bollywood. Shinie Antony is a writer and editor based in Bangalore. Her books include The Girl Who Couldn’t Love, Barefoot and Pregnant, Planet Polygamous, and the anthologies Why We Don’t Talk, An Unsuitable Woman, Boo. Winner of the Commonwealth Short Story Asia Prize for her story A Dog’s Death in 2003, she is co-founder of the Bangalore Literature Festival and director of the Bengaluru Poetry Festival.